Parents are often dismayed and outraged when a playmate at
daycare or on the playground bites their child. If your child is
the biter, feelings of despair, anger, and helplessness may lead
to a series of ineffectual punishments and interventions. What
can you do to discourage your little biter?
The Root of the Problem
Toddlers often bite out of frustration or anger. If their basic
needs such as hunger, thirst, toileting, naptime, and attention
from an adult are unmet, the resulting frustration brings on a
bite. Meeting these basic needs puts a stop to many occurrences
of biting.
Countless children bite playmates during altercations over a
toy, a snack, a pacifier, or a position on an adult's lap. It is
a defensive, self-protective action. Teaching the child to deal
with his feelings in an acceptable manor ends this type of
biting.
Some children bite as a way to bully others. This is a behavior
problem exhibited by strong willed children. Prompt intervention
is required. Firmly explain to the child that this is not
acceptable behavior and that you will not tolerate biting.
Intervention
It is important to address every biting occurrence when it
happens. Waiting to intervene until a behavior pattern develops
makes putting a stop to biting harder for you and the child.
* Firmly tell the child that biting is not nice and that he is
not to do it again.
* Provide immediate consequences for the behavior. Remove the
child from the play area. Initiate a time out or withdraw a
favorite snack, privilege, or toy. Be sure that the child is
aware that the punishment is a direct result of biting. Ask them
why the punishment occurred so they have clearly understood it's
because of biting. Provide reminders that further biting will
result in undesirable consequences.
* Instruct the child to apologize for biting. Explain that
biting hurts both physically and emotionally.
* If biting occurs with an older child, ask the child why they
felt the need to bite. He or she may be able to tell you what
feelings or actions led up to the incident.
* Teach your child constructive ways to deal with frustration
and feelings of anger. Have them kick a ball outside, talk about
their feelings, switch activities, or seek out the soothing
comfort of a favorite toy or blanket.
* Provide praise and reward for every instance your child
handles a period of frustration or anger without biting.
* Be consistent with punishment for biting. Instruct other
caregivers what to do when biting occurs and create a unified
front. Never allow biting to slip by unpunished.
* Biting your child is not recommended. This models unwanted
behavior and confuses the child. If it is OK for you to bite
him, why is it unacceptable for him to bite another child?
You can stop biting behavior with consistent, early
intervention. Set clear behavior expectations and
understandable, age-appropriate consequences for biting. Balance
punishment with positive praise when your child chooses to react
appropriately instead of biting. Balance punishment with
positive praise when your child chooses to react appropriately
instead of biting.
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